although i have never been physically abused, i can try to help with your queries.

the reason you feel everyhting is getting tangled up in your mind is becaue there is alot of issues there that all want to get out at the same time, i suppose you could call it bottle-necking. theres just not enough chance for them all the be dealt witht ogether, and thats why you feel everything is tangled. this will ease with time.

something as severe as this abuse is bound to affect a future marriage, especially as now you are dealing with it, not then. take your time with it, it wont destroy your marriage if you dont let it, if you love your husband enough you will work through it.

the memories will probably stay with you for life, unfortunately memories can be the hardest thing to rid yourself of. so try not to let it upset you too much. and when thee memories come? well think to the present, the fact that you have a loving man by your side who wont ever hurt you like the other one did. this goes hand in hand with the lack of sleep, just try to put them to one side, try meditation, yoga etc to distract yourself.

over time your therapist will help with the communication problem you have with your husband, they will also help with the "see his face everywhere..and wake up crying" issues. it will all get better with time and hard work. just keep at it, i think you are doing great so far.

i hope this helps abbidy, and let me know if theres anything you need ok.

take care and stay safe.

simon