To start, thank you so much for reading.

I'm a 24-year-old female cohabitating with a 22-year-old man. We've been together now for 1.5 years, living together for about 8 months. We recently relocated out of state together, have a dog...the whole thing. I know that he loves me. He would do anything he can to keep me and to keep me happy. However, I fear the one thing I need is something that he cannot provide.

I feel like we're great friends. We like the same movies, same music. We have the same sick, silly sense of humor. However, I do not feel that we connect emotionally or intellectually. He simply will not talk about his feelings or thoughts or beliefs. This is something that we've discussed, and his response is generally, "What do you want to know?" If I then ask him specific questions, whether it be about his day or his feelings or thoughts, his answers are brief and vague. This has led to my growing feelings of boredom, annoyance, and discontent. I feel loved and supported, but I don't feel that I really know him. This lack of emotional and intellectual intimacy has also led to the gradual drying up of my sexual feelings toward him, which has put immense strain on our relationship.

I am a very cerebral person with a generally low libido, but my physical attraction is always spurred by intelligence and emotional response. I find vulnerable, emotional, intelligent conversation incredibly sexy, and passion always starts in my head rather than my nether regions. My boyfriend first grabbed my attention because of his empathy; he has undergone years of family therapy and has an incredibly admirable capacity to listen to and love me in spite of any emotional baggage I might reveal. I value this quality to no end. I know he is a wonderful man, and I do find so many of his qualities so admirable and valuable.

My boyfriend is as sweet and wonderful as I describe, but I feel that there is such a huge part of him he keeps from me in order to maintain appearances. The man that he desires to be is very admirable indeed, but I get the sense that this is very far from the man he currently is. This creeping suspicion is the result of two technological blunders, leaving information up on my computer that I should not have seen. One instance was a very loving, nostalgic conversation with an ex, which hurt but felt forgivable. The other, more recently, was the active solicitation of webcam sex via Craigslist. He had exchanged numerous emails with females, telling them how hot they were and what he wanted to see them do and show them in return. We've spoken about both instances with little resolution other than that he was drunk and lonely, I was out of town, etc.

Now, this is the real issue: I've met a man recently that has become the object of my interest. He embodies the qualities that my boyfriend doesn't have. He's emotionally open and intellectually engaged. He'll sit at the counter while I work and talk with me for hours. He is empathic and moral and kind and honest, from what I can tell. I also find him physically attractive. We've been plutonic friends for about five months now, having hung out a handful of times one on one to chat and play cards. On the surface, harmless activities. But, I know my feelings, and I know his. I think about him constantly, my amorous pondering perpetuated by guilt. I really, really like him. He knows it and I know it, and I'd venture to say my boyfriend knows it too. Boyfriend has stated before how kind and smart and attractive my new friend is, and how he'd rather see me romantically involved with him than anyone else.

I don't know what to do. I can't tell if I'm just suffering from grass-is-greener syndrome, or if I've genuinely found someone more suitable for me. I don't want to take the easy way out and sell my boyfriend short, but I'm absolutely infatuated for what feels like very good reasons.

Talk some sense into me.