ok so the update is, he told me he cannot deal with what he has had to face from me, and i told him we need to talk, he said we don't need to talk, we need to split up and i told him, that what i need to talk to him about.

i talked to a friend earlier on the phone about what was going on, and she told me his work collegues and his boss were worried about his behaviour at work, he has become evangelical.

at first i worried he would lose his job, and feared for his high mortgage, child support money and his children, they are used to a very comfortable way of life.

but its no longer my worry is it?

its a hard thing to let go of

but its real

i have to look after me, what an unsual expericience

time i get on with my life, how bizarre to worry only about me!

xx