I don't know where you live, but many places have clinics and therapists where pay is on a sliding scale. I went to one clinic years ago and I only had to pay $20 per visit because I didn't have much money. I'm not sure why you don't have friends, but that's normal when other issues are going on that prevent you from making friends. It can be fixed! You just need someone to talk to and help you sort all this out.

Please keep posting here about your situation and I'm sure you'll get some good ideas about how to proceed. The relationship sounds toxic, and you need to figure out why you're unable to end it. It sounds like you just need some help, so please keep searching for solutions. They will come!