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say that I am a nobody but I have the confidence that alludes this air about me that says I am somebody important..you better believe that people are going to believe that I am somebody important..its how you believe in yourself

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I totally agree and understand everything you are saying, it makes a lot of sense. I just spend so much time by myself these days, it's hard to see anything positive about who I am. I have seen therapists about my lack of self-confidence, I have tried to work things out, but I was never ready to really change. Negative thoughts are so natural for me and I've had a lot of practice at making my negativity my own reality.

This is why dating is so hard for me...it was hard when I had a bf, and it's hard now that I'm single.

So when you say you used to be shy, do you remember when/why you stopped? I am exactly how you describe...eyes down, shoulders slumped (I'm trying to work on that), quiet mumbling voice. It's hard for me to commit to saying anything with certitude. I know THAT is unattractive, but I'm unsure how to change it because my negative thoughts are so pervasive.

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You have focused for so long on what you don't have and what you see every one else having..or what you THINK they have

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That is very true, but it's so automatic that I don't know that I'm doing it! It does seem like most girls my age have no problem finding significant others. I also always feel like everyone is more attractive and more social/outgoing, and I wonder how they do it. I suppose it's all perception...we create our own reality. I really want to create a more positive one...I'll work on things I like about myself. I think that is one way to start. Thanks Liv