Hi wellbehaved - i find it somewhat strange that your boyfriend said he would rather see you with this other person than with anyone else when at the beginning of your post you mentioned he would do anything to try and keep you...i think you're right in that maybe he is all to aware of how better suited the two of you may be. As for the dalliances with people over the internet, this is absolutely unacceptable - maybe this is just me, but i would certainly be in doubt now over his behaviour.

Clearly your partner isn't happy. He's emotionally guarded, staying in touch with his ex, asking for web cam sex, openly noting your suitability for your friend - i would sit down with him and ask openly about how he feels about your relationship noting all what i listed above. If he isn't forthcoming and gives vague, non descript answers i would seriously consider whether this relationship is worth pursuing. If he pours on the charm and says that thats crazy talk and that he adores you etc etc - ask him where the proof is (surely recent behaviour suggests he has some explaining to do?). Some men are naturally more reserved but even the men i know who are like this like a little intellectual conversation now and again.

It sounds to me like the issues from his past are still very much affecting him so i guess the bottom line is you can either stay and see if over time he manages to resolve this or leave and see what happens with this other guy. You're still young and have plenty of time to have these sorts of experiences but even so, if you're not happy why not take your chances with this guy? Your current partner obviously isn't going to morph into a new person but you need to decide whether its likely he's ever going to possess the qualities you desire. I hope ive been helpful. All the best.