Well ladies and gents I am at a cross roads I suppose.

I have been self harming for about a week well actually it will be a week today. Which I'm cutting deeper than before. But I don't feel depressed I just feel this heavy weight on me and always on edge I can't seem to shake this feeling. I am cutting openly now cause I'm to the point where it's easier that way and I don't really care who knows everyone knows now so I feel I should t have to hide it. But as I'm sitting here I'm thinking weighing the pros and cons of Sui. Why am I doing this am I depressed? I don't know I do think so but if your thinking about Sui aren't you depressed? I dont know what to do at this point. I have a full bottle of lithium everybody is on me about taking my meds so why not take all of them right? Any advice would be great. I don't want to tell my family in fear they will 5150 me. I'm just at the point now where I'm impulsive enough to do it.