Clinte,
I believe its time for you to talk to someone in real life. You need to get to safety. Please call your T or Pdoc asap. Yes it sounds as though you are crashing right now with sui thoughts. You are cutting and considering taking all your pills. I thought we were going to do a contract with you. I think its time for you to do your contract and time to talk to someone. Please tell me you will get help right away?