I am really not sure if I am experiencing a mixed episode of if I'm finally starting to crash. For about three weeks, I've been extremely manic, hallucinations and all. For the past couple days, I still feel manic, but I'm getting incredibly irritable (which in itself I know can come with mania) and my thoughts have gotten darker. Not sui per se but like I'm losing my mind and the up part of my roller coaster isn't fun anymore.

I actually bought a book the other day on bp but everytime I try to sit and read it, I can't seem to focus enough to make it past a couple paragraphs. With everything I've been doing this past week to try and burn energy, my body is screaming and every muscle hurts but I can't seem to slow down.

My pdoc took me completely off my AD last week, and put me on Seroquel and Klonopin and I'm not sure that they are helping any, although the hallucinations seem to have gone for the most part. Plus the Seroquel forces sleep on me, so I can't even count on sleep deprevation to bring me down.

I just don't know what to do. I used to enjoy mania, now I feel like it's killing me.