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Hope hubris, i have no advice what so ever. i can only sympathize with you for all of your recent loss. i understand why the pull towards alcohol is so strong. i also agree with Leed that alcohol is making your depression worse. i do not know if AA counselors are also therapists if so please contact your sponsor or find a counselor.
Do you have anyone who could tolerate being with you as you withdraw from the alcohol so that if you do seize someone will be there to help and call an ambulance if necessary?
Thinking of you and hoping you are able to follow much of what Leed posted.
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