I don't have a clue. I also have emotional dysregulation and feel like an outcast. I have depression, and feel like I have to push myself each and every day/hour/minute to make it through only to have to go through it again. I choose to be in therapy because it gives me hope that I will someday work through it all. Otherwise, I would continue on in the same existence, and that is not an option.

I believe assisted suicide should be a right of every human being. I believe in the quality of life, and right now although it is better than it was after termination, it is still a struggle. I still struggle with that issue and issues before it. My issues are compounding, and I feel trapped to carry on and put on the mask that hides what others don't want to see or know. I believe many suicides are often people taking control of their lives, escaping inescapable pain, when they can't achieve this goal while living.

I don't know if we are scapegoats or the problem, but I don't fit in in life. I don't fit in with my FOO, I don't fit in with relationships at work, and I don't fit in with the therapeutical relationship. So, what is my purpose here? To suffer in silence so others don't have to hear/see/feel my pain? I say, Give me liberty, or give me death!