I just can't deal with how school destroys my life. My willingness to live, my ability to be happy and feel happiness freely inside. It's been this way for 5 years. I've been depressed for this time and school makes it so much worse.

I guess I'll have to go on a higher dose of medication. I think it's my perfectionism causing issues too. But it's the terrible sense of never being appreciated or good enough in a teacher's eyes that really, really makes me lack the motivation. I just want to be praised. I sound like a foolish child... I just don't know anymore. Right now I feel more unappreciated than ever. It's this feeling of being ignored or picked on that makes me want to just quit. I think it's my BPD that makes me feel this way too.

I'm just sick and tired of trying SO hard to do the best I can do and never being acknowledged or given a break when I'm not well or feeling suicidal. [Of course, you can't come out to a teacher and say 'Give me a break, I'm so suicidal-depressive right now' but still.] I just long for once to have compassion from someone in school and I never, ever get it.

I just wish I could drop out. I'm getting to this place where school is not worth my LIFE being destroyed.

Has anyone ever felt this way???