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Now I'm considering leaving him... But I'm kind of in a rough spot right now, confused about what to do...
I've had to force myself to allow any trust due to some small and (imo) big issues he's done, but he seems to be a genuinely good guy. But he during last appointment seemed to really oppened up my eyes in the treatment I'm getting. And it's really lowered the trust.
We met with pdoc and again she gave me an antidepressant for my anxiety, when I have said time and time again that antidepressants make me depressed. T sat in the office with me and pdoc and encouraged me to try the antidepressant. But when we went back to his office to reschedule he says "well I didn't think she would give you that I don't think that's right for you I think you'd be better with so and so meds"
Then I started thinking about just how much about my problems other than DID does he know, and how much does he claim to know. This is just a tiny bit of the issues I'm having.
I'm having a small mental issue atm, but at the same time I don't give my trust easily and I've been given reason by t to not give the trust so easily. I wont go into details because well heck if somehow computers are monitored and something were to happen I would feel guilty. He hasn't necessarily broken some big law or anything but some things should never have been said with me in the room... Not inappropriate toward me but inappropriate concerning other patients which concerns me that I'm just another of those patients when he's with his other patients.
So perhaps him leaving wont be a big deal, perhaps I'll cut the cord before it gets to that point.
At the clinic we can't change doctors without giving them a reason, and I wouldn't be able to do that, and I can't afford therapy anywhere else so I may just go a bit without therapy. Maybe do online research, read some self help books...
I don't know, I'm back and forth all day every day. Thank you all for being so kind and giving such wonderful advice.
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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