I'm sorry you're going through this, and hope you get feeling better soon.

I don't know what type of abuse you've suffered, but I can tell you that growing up in an emotionally frigid home with parents who disliked me, I feel the same way a good part of the time. My husband is good at reminding it's not true, but when you've been through that sort of experience, no amount of words can convince you it's not true.