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I've never screamed, it's something I can't do. I've gotten so angry, and tried to scream while like in the car or something but I always hold back, even when I'm trying it comes out like a whimper. I've tried in the pillow, I've tried a lot of different things but it just doesn't happen. So I just grunt as loud as I can, it's the closest I can come to screaming.
I also pull on my hair, it somehow calms me. I don't pull it out or anything I just grab big chunks and tug on it and for some reason it helps. But I look like a nut when people are around.
I used to hit things all the time. I've broken many fingers (I know I punch wrong) and even toes from kicking things when I get angry, so I stopped it some time ago but I still feel like I need more control on my anger or perhaps my patience.
My daughter is 4 and she's gotten to the point where I have to say something 5 times before she listens. Now one of my biggest pet peeves has ALWAYS been if I have to repeat myself more than two times. And all day every day I'm saying the same thing 5 times. And I have two puppies at home that are great, but scratch me and the furniture and always seem to be scratching my daughter. There's just a lot going on all the time. Of course more than that but I get so flustered, so frustrated and I don't yell at my daughter or the dogs but I can tell that my tone is not pleasant and I hate that about me. And it gets to the point with the dogs where my heart is racing I'm so upset.
So I walk away to avoid saying anything with a "attitude" or anything, but it takes forever for me to relax
T says yoga, but it bores the heck out of me, same with meditation, if I ever had time to actually do it I would probably fall asleep. And I don't see how it could help in the moment.
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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