i can see several ways you might interpret all the negatives that are going on as caused by you. that makes sense to me. but that doesn't mean it is true.
maybe you didn't make all the accomplishments you think you should have, but "should have" isn't a very useful state.
you deserve congratulations for all the difficult tasks you've accomplished. did you get out of bed today? did it feel incredibly difficult, but you still persevered? that deserves congratulations. remember that it's all to scale: people who easily roll out of bed and head off to work don't deserve congratulations because it is so easy for them. they earn their congrats other ways.
from all of your posts i've read, i've always found you to be intelligent, thoughtful, considerate, and empathetic. please try to give yourself as much credit for all of your accomplishments as you do for all your perceived failures.