This sounds like a pattern in therapy that you've identified and want to change? Maybe you could just share this post with your therapist so she can get a good sense of how you view what is happening in your therapy and what has happened in past therapies. It stands out to me that you see therapy as an undertaking where either therapist or client must "take control." I am not sure what it means to take control of a session. I am not sure either my T or I is in control. Our sessions just kind of flow. My therapist does leave it up to me to introduce what topic I want to discuss, as he doesn't know what is most important to me that day, but I am not sure that choosing what we talk about is like "taking control."

I think it would also be informative to tell your T that at your last session you perceived her as being angry when you took control. I wonder if she would agree? If she does, it might be interesting to hear why she got angry. And if she didn't get angry, it would be very interesting to explore why you perceived that she did.

I think there is lots to explore here and a good starting point is to share your post.

As for knowing what angle to take, I just listen to my insides and that helps me know what topic to raise that day. When my T and I were doing ego state work, he had me talk with my protector ego state and try to work it out. (My T is a family therapist and is used to helping family members learn to communicate with each other and work out their differences.) So I can see that if I told my T that I wanted to destroy my protector ego state, he would suggest another approach. My T has a lot of experience so he often has really good suggestions on how to do things in therapy, but I don't find him controlling. I can always let him know that certain approaches aren't working well for me or that a particular topic is one I want to leave alone for a while.

Hope you can have some good discussion with your T on this--the idea that one person must control the session, that your therapy has a certain pattern to it that repeats itself, etc. Good luck.