My heart really hurts. I am finding myself very sad. I don't want to slip down. I don't want to drink or smoke weed. I don't want to kill myself. But my heart hurts so bad. I have been really strong. But I am not always strong. I am not strong right now. I am feeling really weak. I hope tomorrow is better. My eyes are dry. I am not numb, but I wish I was. I am really hurting. I need God.