Clinte, I wish I could help. I wish I could give you some advice on how to make your family see how much you're hurting inside. I know you said you don't want to go the hospital route, but maybe you should at least consider it. If you know you need the help, and your family isn't willing or isn't able to see that you need it, maybe you need to find it somewhere else. My gf is really supportive of me when I need help, but I know she doesn't really understand. You can pm me if you really need someone to talk to. If you're still feeling this way, I think it may be time to put what you want aside and look at what you need. I feel for you, I really do, and like I said, I wish I could do more to help.