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Oct 08, 2012, 08:36 AM
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Member Since: Jul 2012
Location: northern CA
Posts: 249
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Up at 5am sleep just alludes me. spending a lot of time thinking about my purpose in life. Why I can not find any enjoyment in it. these feelings and thoughts fuel my depression, making me more despondant. My mood fluctuates daily but by evenings they tend to have the same theme of sadness and unworthiness. I spend a lot of time with t working on these feelings but they seem bigger than her, which begins the cycle of questioning my existence all over again. I thought my children would be the catalyst for change in my thinking but they are not. Can't think of anything bigger that would make that shift. well maybe a little self love. Feel this depression deep in my soul and don't know if meds and therapy will be enough to eradicate it, it's been three years so far and the progress minimual. Posting on PC sometimes help with the need to rid myself of the feelings but they come back and I am stuck again. Sharing my pain should be cathartic so I guess I will continue posting.
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