I received a letter from a woman who said she was stuck in the same abusive situation. Her case was actually a little differen. She was 29 years old, no job (he won't let her), two kids and nowhere to go. It broke my heart to read her story. I advised her to devise an escape plan. Begin to prepare the plan. Believe always in her plan, no matter how long it takes. And when she has everthing prepared, execute her plan and never, never look back.

In my case the woman I was involved with is in little different situation. Which is why it baffled me so much. She is 47 years old. She is financially independent. There were no children involved. She had been living on her own for 7 months before we met. We had been together for 6 months before he found out and decided he wanted her back. I just couldn't believe that she would even consider the proposal. But she did. Furthermore, she genuinely doesn't see the manipulation or just denies it.

She said;
" I know you think it is sick but I really do love you still to this day. I think about you all the time. I don't just love someone and then stop that's what makes this all so painful no matter which way I turn. How do you stop doing it. Someone is going to get hurt. Everyone. You hurt, I hurt, he hurts even though he's the one who has caused all of this."

So you can see from her last sentence what I have been up against. Now he has started phoning me and hanging up the phone. I'm not sure if he is harrassing me or just checking when her line is busy to see if she is talking with me. Either way I won't tolerate any more of that.

And so I have to just let go. It has been a very painful and destructive process. I learned that the pain of heartache is the same as hunger pain. So when you live with it all day, and all night you become numb to it. I went 48 hours with no sleep and nothing to eat. I'm now down 21 pounds. But once I get through the pain the I look forward to re-building my life again.

I have never cheated or been unfaithful in my life. How does one justify in their own mind and soul such betrayal? I used to wonder about that when I would see if from the outside. But now being on the inside it is really shocking to me.

Oh well. Thanks again everybody for your great responses. Really comforting for me when I needed it.