Hey blossom I don't know if this makes sense or not but I hope it does. I again as you know am not a therapist in any way shape or form. I just want to say this. I am part of the Crew. I USED TO think that if someone "merged" they were just "poof... gone!!!" I thought I needed that part b/c they drove the best. Then as we have all huddled in a sense together and shared this memory and that memory with each other I realized we used each other to support each other as I am supporting you as well (((bloossm)))) even though you are not in my system.
You are in control on how little or how much that part chooses to go away. I have even learned from myself and others that I have been in DD Units that you cannot make exp. Jack and Bill merge if they don't want it. There are no rules and seinse I am a survivor, we used to debate this within and with T's that pushed merging. In my opinion, no one truly has to merge, it's a personal choice that only you get to make. How lucky you are, in a meaningful way~! The only thing I do know is if you can become more aware and co-conscious of each other, hear each others ways of expressing minus the self-harm, move in the same direction without fear of destructive behavior by different parts is the key, not merging....... in fact Merging is something you look back on, not something to prepare for.
****This is only our (Crew's) opinion******* We hope the best for you!
crew