Detached Protector : cuts off needs and feelings; detaches emotionally from people and rejects their help; feels withdrawn, spacey, distracted, disconnected, depersonalized, empty or bored; pursues distracting, self-soothing, or self-stimulating activities in a compulsive way or to excess; may adopt a cynical, aloof or pessimistic stance to avoid investing in people or activities

First off this is not a sprint or race, its a journey. You didn't develop this overnight and it wont go away overnight. If your pattern involves "taking control" as you say and demanding an answer and this hasn't work before, why do you continue to attempt it? This is one maladaptive coping mode, I am sure there are more where that came from so why focus on this? The relationship is the key in therapy and by continuing to sabotage a chance for a relationship to develop, due to self imposed time constraints based on speed and or directness of treatment seems counterproductive. The definition of this coping mode and buying into it as a core issue, is a self fulfilling prophecy in how therapy is working for you. Throw that idea out the window, talk about HOW and WHY you developed this mode.... take all the time in the world, let the talk work, let the seeds be planted and the trust to build. T's aren't miracle workers but with their knowledge of the process and your willingness to be open and honest you will find a solution. My T compared the therapeutic relationship to people in karate who break through cinder blocks. Their forearms and hands are no stronger then yours or mine, through practice over time they have broke and cracked those bones and then allowed them to heal and there in lies their magic ability. Their bones become stronger after ever rupture and repair. Over time, in therapy, through the relationship we too will become stronger, through rupture and repair. One must be able to withstand the rupture and work through it with the Therapist in order to build a stronger relationship and shed the unwanted coping modes and replace them with new learned healthier ones. Even ideal chatter can lead to a huge break through, verbal brainstorming. If you know your pattern and you know it doesn't work....then try something else. I'd start with the opposite of this "cuts off needs and feelings; detaches emotionally from people and rejects their help;"