Hello & Welcome, Songofpurplesummer! What would happen if you were to print off your above post and hand it to your parents? If you wouldn't feel comfortable giving the copy to your parents, is there anyone at your school or a doctor to whom you could give it?

The patterns and symptoms you describe need to be assessed by professionals. I hope you can find a way to reach out in a way that's comfortable - or least uncomfortable - for you.