Seven months ago or so, my life was wonderful. I felt like everything was where it needed to be. I thought I had found my purpose. I was deeply in love. Ready to give her an incredible life, and one that is much better than she has had thus far. I went to another country to visit her. Her family was actually much nicer to me than my own family. Everything was incredible. I was planning my life with her, a future, marriage, everything. It all came crashing down seven months ago. Now, I feel as you do. No happiness, no joy, no purpose. I often question myself, why do I put myself through this? Why am I even here?

While I can't answer what your purpose is, and I won't even try, I know that we don't choose to be here. Life is a cruel thing. We are born without choice, to parents we don't choose, thrown in a life we didn't choose. I understand how you feel. It's hard. You said you have children, right? If you do, you already served a purpose. You have to be here, because they need you. I feel like everything happens for a reason, they are there for a reason. To keep you going.

Meds and doctors can only do so much. In the end, it's our choice whether we want to enjoy life or stress over it. It's like losing weight. You can diet and eat right, but unless you go out and exercise and put in the effort you probably aren't going to lose much weight. Life is similar in the fact that we can take meds and go to any doctor we want, but until WE are happy with our life and happy with ourselves and we put in the work mentally and physically to fix what we think is wrong in our lives, we aren't just going to magically be better. There really isn't a cure, and I doubt there ever will be.

All of that is easier said than done. I know it's not as easy as it is for me to type this. It's true though. I know that we should all embrace life and our chance to be here, but it is a very difficult time to do that. Even for me. I can tell you all this, but in all honesty I have given up myself. Given up on happiness, given up on life. I am just going through the motions now. I don't have any children though, the only person I am hurting is myself.

You just have to figure out what it is that is bothering you, you said self love? Well, think about why you don't love yourself? What is it? Then, work on that. What can you do to fix why you don't love yourself? These are simple steps that can be monumental in helping your emotional problems. I would write them all down, and take it one step at a time. Then, you have to ask yourself why life is worth living? In my opinion, it would be your children. Then focus on that.

I can't do much more but offer my support. As you can tell, I am not much help at the moment as I am suffering from severe depression as well. I am asking the same questions. I know that the advice I am giving would even help myself if I were to follow it. I know they say to "practice what you preach", and I have tried. At one point in my life this all worked for me. Right now, it isn't. It might work again, but I have to grieve first. I don't want you to think that I am giving advice that I would never follow, as I have followed this advice to success in the past.

I don't know that any of it will help you, but I hope it does. If nothing else, you'll know that you aren't the only one going through this, and that there are others in similar situations who are there to offer their support. Take care.