I never worked on "adult" attachment since there was so much junk coming from my regular, previous/childhood psychology and makeup that I was actually working on.

Adult attachment IS how we as adults express the way we learned to attach to our caregivers as infants.

I think it is too hard and unnecessary to parse where and what kind of "attachment" one has to T versus to parent versus to friend or spouse, etc.

If a person does attach to their T it will be with the same attachment one experienced with their initial caregivers. We continue attachment patterns in all of our relationships. Experiencing this through the therapeutic relationship is a way to correct insecure attachment styles that make all personal relationships difficult for the person who suffers this. Examining this and the feelings associated with it, is not a way to "parse" as you put it.

We learned/learn how to relate to others as we are growing up and through our life span and just recognizing that relationship with X person isn't what we'd like or seems messed up because of previous assumptions and learning was enough for me.

I am glad that this was enough for you, however I think you may lack an understanding of how devastating and debilitating having disorganized or preoccupied attachment issues can be for an individual working to heal this and their personal relationships.

Ibelieve there's a lot of built-in stuff that isn't good or bad, just is. My relationship with my husband feels, in may ways, like my relationship with my father to me; both men are/were warm, kind, loving, thoughtful, intelligent, etc. and I'm quite sure I was attracted to my husband in part because of my relationship with my father. Were there difficulties with my relationship with my father? Of course. Are there difficulties with my relationship with my husband? Of course. But the men are not the same men (anymore than I am the same woman I was 20-40 years ago) and that is what therapy has helped me with; the differentiation and the living in "now" instead of intellectualizing or getting hung up in any sort of transference.

I know that the experience of myself and some of the responders to this thread goes way beyond the "difficulties" you mention. These are issues once again that can be simply devastating to the individual suffering and trying to heal from this. Your statement of "getting hung up on transference" comes across as minimizing and a little flippant. I hope you don't take offense as I am sure you are well intended. The feelings associated with severe attachment issues are not ones that can be intellectualized. Though the person may know fully what is happening on an intellectual level, correction occurs only through experiencing healthy attachment and the process of building the healthy attachment to the T activates all of the insecure attachment systems in the individual. It can be a tsunami of emotion that at times is impossible to contain during the early stages of this process. I just don't think you were speaking about the same thing. As BAF described it can be like a war waging within and takes a tremendous amount of work, courage, and support to stay in the battle.