I am a man in his mid-forties. Three years ago I went to a counselor and psychiatrist because I was deeply depressed and couldn't climb out of it after 6 months. They diagnosed me with bi-polar and started me on drugs.

For the first few months I was super happy/hyper/manic but this ended when they had to switch my meds because of severe side effects.

Since then I have drifted in and out of depression deep enough to affect my job, relationship and leaving me seriously considering suicide at times.

Other times I am just 'blah'. I have no emotions or desires or joy, just blah. My counselor and psychiatrist don't seem concerned at all and keep telling me that it will get better.

However, after three years of this I am seriously doubting their diagnosis. I have an appointment with another psychiatrist to get a second opinion.

Am I the only bi-polar who never gets the high, only the middle or lows? They keep switching my meds all the time but nothing changes. I have been on anti-depressants for three years now with nothing but anger and sadness to show for it.