Lolcabanna,

You cut right to the chase and don't mince words - I like it! You are definitely right though. I didn't realise "rejecting help" was a detached protector thing too but it makes sense. The karate simile is a good one.. I see what you mean.

The reason why I do this part of the pattern is so that I can make the most out of this resource before the 4-5 sessions are up and im terminated. In the past when I did not do this, I missed out on a lot of information and it was like throwing away a good resource. I get some extra info to work on in the time when I have no therapist anymore. Sort of like if you have a fridge full of food and it is being taken away in 4-5 days so at the last minute you grab some food so that you will not starve while you are waiting to find a new fridge. Get it while its there!

The question is, though, how much time should I allow myself to coast through with chit chat before drawing the line? A lot of therapists I have had before just make chit chat and next thing you know its been 3 years with no results and your bank account is empty and people are asking you "why didn't you find a new therapist 2 years ago? why are you still there?". I read a lot of guides that say if you have no results after 5 sessions then you should stop. I think 5 sessions is a bit premature... sounds a bit unrealistic to me. What is more realistic? I have no idea. What about 1 year?