BPNurse and Moremi, I am really sorry to hear that, I am. I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy if I had one. It's very robbing, I feel very much like an orphan. It steals any life out of you thats possible. I was a surrogate spouce to my mother when we were young. I didnt even know that had a name. So our relationship is very tangled even though I left that role a long time ago.

If I said everything she did this weekend it would be a novel. My poor step dad. It feels so abusive to be near her. I just feel like assulted on so many levels when she leaves. Sometimes I handle it better, but not when I am already struggling.

You have my sympathy also, no one should have to feel this towards their own mother, and coupled with how you feel about how they felt about you.

I hope the mixed mood will disapate soon for you, and the stress can get worked out. I'll be thinking of you too.

I would probably cut her out of my life, if I could, except for that fact that I know she loves me on some level, there is something. My father I did cut out, but there was nothing there in him, I think he actually did most of the cutting himself out of my life himself.

actually that goes for most of you, because I know that so many of us here did not receive what we needed.