It's after midnight, and I need to be up in less than six hours, but I can't sleep. I'm having a lot of sleep issues these days, even though I seem tired enough to be able to sleep at night. I've been doing a set of intensive dance/fitness DVDs at home in my very limited free time, and I really enjoy them, but at this early stage, I am still tired and sore as a result of exercising. I'm also feeling really overwhelmed and depressed - I'm taking six courses this semester, and I'm pretty burdened down with homework and labs to write up, when I'm not at school. I feel ugly as well - I always wanted to be a Nicole Kidman type of girl, and instead I'm this short, fat ugly chick with brown hair and brown eyes. I mean, I look in the mirror and wonder how anyone can possibly find me attractive. I really feel like no one is able to relate to me - my two best friends are great, but one of them simply doesn't seem to understand how my situation is making me feel, and the other one is a guy with whom I've had a somewhat murky romantic past, so that makes it difficult to discuss certain things. I realize that, right now, I'm in pity mode, and I shouldn't be, since I am fortunate to be able to continue with my education and to have a place to live and everything else. I guess it's just that it's late, I'm a bit exhausted, and depression is never far away. Just let me vent tonight, and I'll feel better tomorrow... maybe.