i know exactly what you mean. i listen to other people having conversations some days and think it seems so easy.. like they have no trouble at all.. i always used to be really smart, level-headed, fun-loving, open-minded... i got 90's in school, and i was a really happy and warm person, which is why istarted freaking out so much when my mind went....wherever it went... i couldnt control my thoughts at all for a while, they would just go off on their own tangents about stuff and i could hardly follow them... it never made any sense.. then i started realizing how weird things were getting and i'd get all paranoid and selfconscious because i knew i knew better, and i wasnt stupid, so why couldnt i remember things, or figure things out, or concentrate, or talk like a normal person.. !? and i couldnt even form a sentence that made any logical sense.. i could never explain anything coherant... i always felt strange.. like i was on a totally different plane of existance than everyone else almost.. i know what u mean with the finding it impossible to put it into words.. i have one friend who was feeling almost exactly the same way, and we had a long conversation about it, and we both knew exactly what we were talking about, but i dont know how to make it understandable to other people. that's my biggest problem.. it makes me wonder if what i'm going thru is even real, or if i just think there's something wrong with me, like being a mental hypochondriac or something, and i was making myself crazy because i thought everything i was doing and thinking was crazy.. it was really confusing and overwhealming.. and i thought i could think my way out of it, and control it, because i knew i was a bright person and i should know better than to listen to stupid thoughts like those, constantly second guessing myself and hating myself and feeling like a total outsider.. but its impossible to ignore it and think rationally when your brain is racing in different directions from where i want to go.. so i think i know what you're talking about.. actually, haha i think i just went on a rant about something other than what you were talking about, but i cant read what your post said now so you're stuck with this :P
anywhoo i wouldnt mind chatting with you sometime if you like i dont know if i can offer much support, but i have found ways to manage it about 80% of the time now.. you seem like a really cool girl

well, even tho i havent helped you at all here, i hope you're feeling better.. take care of yourself
and its ok to be different. dont worry about what other people think of you. the only thing i've really learned from this is that your good friends will stay by you and try to help you and be understanding, even if they really dont understand at all :P and if they don't, you've still got everybody here so hang in there.

take care

-kate