I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, bpd, and gad back in 2002. I have been on disability for these conditions since 2005. Most people I have encountered have no idea what schizoaffective disorder is and it would be nice to have others to converse with. I occasionally have auditory hallucinations over the years it has become increasingly infrequent. I have just one voice, always the same, I call her Alex. I was wondering if anyone else has expe rienced this. I have never been very medication compliant. It took years years just to find some medications that actually helped. Alex always tries to convince me not to take medications. She says things like, things will never get better, its just covering up symptoms you will never be cured so so what's the point. I actually kinda resent having to take medicine. Rationally I know I need it just like anyone else with a disease but unfortunately that doesn't help. I don't like the medicated me. In all honestly I like my mania, I get alot accomplished and it kinda keeps the pain on the back burner. I do know what comes after though and thats when I usually start taking my abilify again but never for very long. I do realize I need therapy and I like going to therapy but at this juncture its not possible so I am here