Days of Healing, Days of Joy..................................Oct. 9th

"Life is not war, and people are not the enemy".................Anonymous

Some of us adult children have learned - by seeing it, hearing it, having it driven into our consciousness in a hundred ways - that life is indeed war. We were raised in families that assumed conflict and combat and thus delivered messages like, "This is going to be a terrible day, I can tell it already and I haven't even left the house yet,"

Some of us had homes that were veritable forts. We learned that we were safe only within the confines of the protected areas. Anyone not in there with us was an outsider, someone not to be trusted, an enemy.

But these are perceptions of truth - faulty perceptions - not truths themselves. The wars our parents fought were raging between their ears. It need not be so for us. Outsiders need not be the enemy unless we cast them in that role.

A contentious attitude always brings misery. We don't have to think that way if we don't want to.
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I've learned that the expectation of hostility breeds hostility. Today, I expect nothing but pleasantness and peace.

How true this was in my home growing up. It seemed that anyone coming to the house was treated with suspicion. My parents never owed money on anything, so it certainly wasn't a bill collector. We just never had visitors -- not even family. So anyone coming to the house seemed to be "threatening." At least that's the impression I always got growing up. Consequently I was always afraid if someone I didn't know came to the door. Nothing bad ever happened, so I don't know why I was so afraid -- it's just the impression my parents gave us about people showing up.

I find I feel like that today, when someone shows up unexpectedly today. I'm a little unnerved, not knowing why they're there, what they want, etc. It almost scares me. I need to remember this reading, and that outsiders need not be the enemy unless I "cast them in that role."