Quote:
Originally Posted by layla11
Hi and just wanted to say, I think you will have closure and its good you are talking about this. Also, reading all you can is a good thing. I went through something like this years ago. I guess thats why I responded to you message, because I can relate. I read alot too, and it helped to understand. Talk about it when you need to that helps. Have you ever read up on sociopathy? Im not saying that she is a sociopath because I dont know her of course. Just keep investigating and youll find the answers.
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I'm embarrassed for myself because I was foolish enough to go through all this, makes me look weak.. which I was.. I think men in general are fixers, so I thought I could fix her.. My faith as well kept me in this, because I showed compassion as well, I saw a broken woman inside.. She has a good heart, but its almost like this stuff is almost out of her control at time, at least it comes across this way.. Like a child.. Not letting her off the hook of course, but this was the perception I had on it.. I know she loved me very much, especially once the storm of all that happened had passed.. At least the most traumatic events.. She is no dummy, she has been an elementary school teacher for 21 years, and does ok on the social side of things.. Although she always hated talking on the phone! We texted 90% of the time, frustrated me! We would text for an hour when she could just pick up the phone.. And if we were fighting, forget the phone.. no chance she would pick up the phone.. Just some odd behavior.. I know she carried a lot of guilt from her childhood, not measuring up to anyone.. it was intense.. So any perceived failures in the present, mixed with those from the past.. and it was intense..
Anyway, I will look up sociopath as well, I know you can still have some qualities of different disorders and not be labeled with it.. Thanks so much for your input!!
