I'm curious, does anybody else resent having to take meds? I take all mine at night now, both psych and physical illness meds, and probably 75% of the time I am in bed with the lights out, all comfy, before I realize, "^%$#@#@!@@!, I have to take my ^%$#@#@@@@!!!!! meds." Then I get all grumpy (it might seem I'm that way all the time, but I promise I'm not!).

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I live in a world where these things are available to help me. I'm just tired of being dependent on them. I want to be a "normal" person, one who doesn't need multiple antidepressants just to be able to get out of bed every day (and sometimes it still doesn't work for that). I resent being sick. I resent the combination of chemistry and evil people who made me this way. I resent that if I live to be 100, I will still be taking freaking Effexor (and multiple others). Sometimes I just don't want to bother anymore. If I can backslide ON them, I can backslide just as well without them.

I'm just tired of having my identity wrapped up in my mental illnesses. People define me by it before they even take the time to get to know me. I wish I could get rid of all the traces of being a nutjob -- including the ^%$#@@@!!@@@!! meds.

So am I crazy or what?