The thing is feelings are unavoidable - its best not to try and dodge them or over-expose yourself but instead find a way of working through them. Are you in therapy? If not do you think you would find it beneficial? Perhaps a support group might be able to help you feel less alone and provide another platform in which you can freely discuss how you feel and work on developing some coping strategies. As for your relationship, if you don't feel ready to be in one right now thats perfectly fine - don't stick with it because you'll feel bad about yourself otherwise, relationships that aren't right always end badly in the long term so if you do have the courage to get out now i would but if you feel this relationship is a good thing you just need more support with how you feel i would take things very slow, continue to be honest with your bf about how you feel and hopefully if you do go into therapy or something along those lines he will be supportive. Its good you've opened up to him this far and the fact of the matter is, he is with you because he wants to be with you - if there was someone 'better' out there for him, he would already be with them. I hope ive been helpful. All the best.