whenwillitend - im so sorry you're hurting this much the fact of the matter is people don't always get better/recover. Things can occasionally improve and even if it isn't long lasting all we can do is be thankful for those times i suppose. You are doing the very best you can so pat yourself on the back for that at least. When all is said and done at least you can say you've tried your best and as long as you keep fighting for a better life kudos to you. Im sorry if ive not been helpful i don't really have any advice but i just wanted to congratulate you on carrying on even when you feel so tired (trust me i KNOW the feeling). It takes courage to cope when life is this tough - i wish i had as much fortitude (if ok).