I always wore very drab colours too, grey brown, black, earthy green. My bf and sisters had been bugging me about it for a long time. And I didnthink that these colours suited my skin tone and hair.

I had went on many shopping trips to try and find just one colourful item. And it didn't go so good. I did not feel comfortable in any of the colours. I would get quite emotional about the whole thing. Angry inside even about feeling pressured into it, like no one could just accept me and leave it alone.

But I have been working on my confidence a lot. This summer I went out and bought a bunch of extremly colourful clothes, some more daring and sexy than i ever would have worn before. I always dressed fairly conservitive. But this time it was different, I actually felt great in these bright colours. And confident dressing a little more sexy. Not all the time, but sometimes it is nice. I discovered I was not afraid to be seen, to be noticed. That my dark wardrobe was me trying to blend in and not be seen.

And the anger I felt about being bugged to do this, well I realize know, they just wanted me to feel good.

Just saying I understand, and getting colourful is not such an easy task as it sounds. But I hope you give it another shot. Maybe try something smaller, like a scarf to start, or shoes.

But the real issues underneath, working on those whatever they are is where the real pay of is. If you can't afford therapy, there are lots of dbt, and cbt therapy workbooks available, lots of help online, libraries... I had to go this route, but I have made a lot of progress even without therapy. It might be easier to have a therapists help along the way, but I hope you find what you need.