I think I got most of that out of my system. I went for lunch with my bf today and he said he was ready to call my pdoc, because he has not seen me that bad or not like myself in such a long time. Thing is today I feel pretty good. I feel like myself, connected.

So today, I am getting my stuff done, and that feels good. I also took a little walk, and the sun is shining. I havent felt well for a while, but I do feel well right now. Despite that my face might say other wise. The awesome swelling of the eyes that spreads down the cheek from crying for a few days. I think my tears actually burnt my skin, its all dry and stings.

So I think since my bf has hockey tonight, and I have no other excuss I will indulge myself and work on my halloween costume. I have been collecting stuff to make it with for a while, but just having been feeling it, which wasn't a good feeling since costume making is something that I love to do and usually get lost in. should have been a sign.

Think it's all gonna be ok. I wasn't even convinced of that myself really, but it is. The feeling of realizing it is, makes a pretty big difference.