I don't know what to do.. I constantly feel like crying. I never used to be like this! I used to be happy and outgoing with a little confidence, but now I feel so sad and find it hard to get out the house. I'm not myself anymore and only few have noticed it. I'm so used to hiding everything I start to fool myself, but as soon as I'm alone or I'm not occupied/distracted I start to over-think and I realize this and it hits me even harder.
I can't tell anyone or speak to anyone about this, though I so desperately want to, for as soon as I have the chance no words come out and I just cry. I've been trying to get help but anybody that gets involved seems to all have the same favorite saying- 'We have to be cruel to be kind'. But they make me feel as if it's all my fault and I control this. It probably is my fault, I don't know. I don't understand But what I do know is that I can't control it. If I could control this I wouldn't let myself feel like this!? My mind is a huge jumbled mess. You know when one of your small necklace chains gets all tangled and knotted and you can't seem to straighten it out? Well, it's kinda like that.

I'm sorry for writing all of this I tried to sum it up as little as possible. I've seen how helpful and kind people have been to others on here so I thought it's worth a shot.. Being as I can't talk to anyone, this seems like a good idea? To anyone who at least reads this, thank you.