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Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys
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Someone can move this if it needs to be but it kinda goes with a few things so I didn't know where to post...
So here's the deal, and I'm going to try and keep it short and to the point, I've mentioned this before but it really really gets to me...
In August 2011 I had a grand mal seizure due to a terrible decision to experiment with an illegal drug (and of course have sworn off everything since) and the neurologist said I wouldn't have another as long as I stayed away from the drugs, something I'd already planned to do.
Months go by and my anxiety slowly calms from the seizure and I start to believe it wont happen again. Then in May at 6am when my fiance was driving me to work I had another seizure. (I'd never had seizures up until this point) the seizure happened the same day a major abuser from my past moved to my town (a family member). In the car I started to feel tingly all over my body and my head started to fill with pressure. I started to feel like I was being pulled back (something that happens when I dissociate) and it started to cause a panic attack. My last thought was "There is no way I can go to work feeling like this" and the next thing I know my fiance is yelling at me and freaking out. I went to the er. I ended up in the er two more times that week from the anxiety from having a seizure the neurologist said I wouldn't have.
So the er referred me to my current t. My t and pdoc believe that I am having (what my gp and the neuro also mentioned) psuedoseizures and they say if I can keep my stress under controll I can avoid any more. So I've been working extremely hard in therapy. Really getting better, my sleep, my panic and anxiety and my general well being have been getting better. T mentions it every appointment.
So my last appointment with pdoc I started to think I may stop therapy. She works in the same office as t and they are trying to get me on antidepressants for my anxiety. I've explained time and time again that antidepressants MAKE me depressed but she keep insisting I take prozac, which I know will make me depressed, and with me getting better I don't want to do that. So I started thinking "Well maybe I can stop therapy for a while since I've been getting better. I don't need to break through to my other parts" (a thing in relation to DID) "just yet, maybe I can go for a little bit just not thinking about things, not analyzing why I'm afraid of so many things etc"
But then last night out of no where my body started tingling. (let me mention as well in my private region before the second seizure the tingling was more intense than the rest of my body) the same kind of tingling and the same places. Then my head started to feel heavy and I started to feel like I was being pulled away. This happened out of no where. I had a lazy uneventful day yesterday. I looked at my fiance expecting to black out but nothing happened immediately so I got up ran to the room and did some grounding techniques. The tingling went away but came back every now and then but for only 30 seconds or so until I forced myself to fall asleep.
No seizure thank goodness.
So I don't know what to do now. I don't know if taking a break from therapy will help or hurt me. I have no clue what happened, what that tingling was. If it was from anxiety, if it was something dealing with psuedoseizures or if it was something relating with DID. My t specializes in DID but it seems like EVERYTHING I mention to him, DID is his answer. Granted it could be but it seems like no matter what it is he's thinking it's related to my DID.
He thinks the seizures are related to DID, pdoc thinks they are stress related. My dizziness he thinks is related to DID, everything I mention, DID seems to be his answer.
I know I can't get any answers here but if anyone knows about psuedoseizures (as t doesn't know much about them and pdoc I only see once every two months and she's not helpful in giving answers only asking questions) and if the tingling and all can relate to psuedo seizures, or the same with anxiety, if you get tingly when you're having a panic attack, or even DDs if the tingling happens before dissociating???
I'm not looking for a diagnosis, I've already got those. DID, GAD and psuedoseizures, I'm just looking for a little comfort or understanding. If it's possible it happened from a psuedoseizure I'll be comforted knowing I may have fought it off with grounding, if it was anxiety, I'll be comforted knowing that the same as the rest of the symptoms "I was fine before the attack I will be fine after the attack" and if it's something dealing with DID I'll be comforted knowing that well heck I'm not alone in feeling like this. I feel crazy right now.
I guess this wasn't short, I tried to make it as short as I could but if you've read any of my posts before, you know that's impossible for me. Sorry and thank you if you took the time to read.
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my ****opinion*** not diagnosis is that you did a fantastic job
you knew from past experience what that feeling was, you took action by leaving the room and using you grounding tools prevented the situation from escalating into a full blown pseudo seizure.
give yourself lots of hugs and high praise. I know many people who have pseudo seizures due to anxiety and or residual after affects from doing drugs. most of those I know have not followed through with getting clean and saying no to drugs, and very few have the ability to use their grounding instead of panicking to the point where their symptoms end up escalating.
my only suggestion is maybe you can try having some faith / trust in your self and your gut feeling. it told you what you needed to do and you did it and look at the successful outcome. just keep on trusting yourself and your gut feeling.
Im happy and proud for you.