((((((((sad))))))))))),

I can understand your feelings.....it seems to me from what you said about your brother being missing for 50 days is that your whole family went through the trauma of him being missing & then finding him drowned. I know that after going through a trauma during the time my mother was dying of cancer, the visions of the trauma I went through with her are something I can't get out of my mind either.

I know that my phychologist has told me that the more I go over the trauma & the more I am able to talk about what I went through & the feelings I felt, it will help me put the trauma in it's place. It sounds like you have your family that you have been sharing the trauma with, but maybe it might be a good idea to find a therapist/psychologist that you can talk it over with. They are good at listening & helping you talk through the feelings that you have surrounding the experience. Working through it doesn't make it go away completely either, it just helps distance from the trauma. There are times when I feel that if only I could help others who might end up in a similar situation, it might help me feel that what I went through was for some useful purpose.

I know that I engraved the trauma I went through in my mind because I felt that the police might be able to catch the RN that caused the trauma. The DA had the detective drop the case, but after going over it so often with the police, it is hard to get any of it out of my mind.....besides, it has only been 1 1/2 years.....but probably even after 6 years, it will still be vivid in my mind. For me, I am hoping that moving across the country, I will be able to get the flashbacks out of my mind once I am away from the house & the area.

The support of your family is wonderful, but maybe even your whole family could be helped through the trauma with some outside help. I know that for me, having someone realize that what I went through help me put it into perspective has been a great help with the flashbacks & nightmares. I also need to take a med that helps me sleep for the time being. I am hoping that the need for that will lessen as the time goes by.

Hopefully you can find some help......there is no defined time in greiving especially when it is surrounded by a trauma like a drownding.....but there is help available......& there is nothing wrong in getting someone to help you.......it really can help.
Debbie