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Leed · Oct 09, 2012, 07:58 PM

Hi my friend ~ I hate to say this, but there's no way you're going to change this guy. He is what he is, and that's it.

WE woman always think we can "change" a guy to meet our emotional needs, but unfortunately it can't be done. These guys may TRY but they can only do what comes naturally to them, and usually it's not much when they're brought up to be emotionally distant.

I would guess he didn't have much physical contact as a child -- his parents probably didn't give him the affection that a child needs. His Dad was probably more of a "guy" and didn't show his emotions and wasn't much of one to do the hugging/holding of a child. So he probably grew up thinking that a male wasn't supposed to be like that -- only females were. That's unfortunate cause personally I think a guy is more of a "man" if he can show his emotions, and be more of a hugger, etc.

So -- I think you're stuck with what you have sweetie. Unless he gets some therapy -- which I doubt he will -- this is the way it's going to be. But that doesn't mean that YOU have to keep spending huge amounts of money on HIM and his FAMILY. Personally I think that's foolish, and uncalled for. Perhaps if you stop too, he'll realize how much you care and see how much you've spent on him thru thie relationship. I don't mean to stop spending out of vindictiveness -- it's just to your advantage to save your money!!! If he needs stuff, let HIM buy it!!! Buy yourself some nice things, for heavens sakes!

God bless and please take care. And please keep us updated on how things are going. Hugs, Lee