So. I don't officially have the diagnosis of BPD. My former shrink said I had characteristics, but not enough for a diagnosis.

REGARDLESS.

I'm really finding it difficult to control cycling thoughts, and I was wondering how people find ways to calm their mind down, or redirect it, so you stop obsessing?

I don't like rejection. Not a surprise, nobody does. But when I get rejected, I start obsessing over my worth as a person, and whether or not everyone hates me... which then is compounded when I can't get anyone on the phone when I'm starting an emotional freakout.

This evening the rejection thing comes up. I get passive aggressive. Then I obsess about whether or not I suck as a human being. Then I obsess about whether or not anyone actually likes me or if the world is only tolerating my existence. Then I just tried to call my therapist. It's 9pm at night, of course she won't pick up (sometimes she DOES but not regularly... I'm allowed to call whenever, but she won't necessarily pick up whenever) ... but now I'm obsessed with the fact that she wouldn't pick up, that she's screening her calls, that she hates me and finds me annoying to deal with as a client...

So of course I feel like crap. I'm anxious. And now my pets officially hate me (which isn't actually completely irrational - I own an aloof bunny and a crotchety old male cat who are NOT good emotional support animals!)

But how do you stop obsessing? How do you put a block on the cycle of thoughts and feelings and junk before you've worked yourself into an emotionally bad place?

I'm not usually like this. But when I am, I call them my "borderline moments" when they get like this. But I have no flipping clue how to make them stop!

Any help? Advice? DBT-centered thoughts? I did a DBT class two years ago but kinda forgot... well, most of it.

(((((everyone)))))))))

Edit: And now on top of everything else -- I'm anxious over my new job, that I started last week. I was goofing off with some of my students today, and now I'm positively convinced that tomorrow I'm going to be in trouble for what I said or did, and will be fired. I didn't do anything BAD, but I'm still convinced I'll get fired for trying to joke around with my students.

Sigh.