((((((((((((GrandpasGrl))))))))))))))))),

I can understand your greif.......there is nothing crazy about what you are feeling....it is the normal part of greiving for someone so close to you that raised you...."his daughter". Don't ever think that he will be out of your mind after him being the big part of your entire life.

I found that the most beautiful part of your poem is that he is living through you. Your love of nature & saving wildlife, embrassing new challenges throughout your life as he wanted you to do. The values he gave you to give others a chance before making conclusions in your own mind & to love others it the best way to continue realizing your love for him.

It's ok to not be ok right now......it takes quite a bit of time to sort through greif feelings & there is no specific time that it lasts. I know that my Mother died 1 1/2 years ago & I still haven't gone through the greif process. It takes time & don't let anyone tell you differently or push you. Being there with your grandma, she knows what you are going through too & being there together, you are a good support to each other.

Don't let your friends tell you what you "should" do or feel. Being able to talk through your feelings & putting them down in words is a great way to work through your greif.....but you have to do what works for you.......not what works for someone else.

It sounds like your grandpa left a wonderful legacy with you. The values, feelings & thoughts your have are a continuation of him........& you show great respect to his life. I am sure he is proud of you. I know it is hard when he left you before he promised to, but he had no control over that & I am sure he never would have done anything to hurt you intentionally with the amount of love he had for you.

You are lucky to have a wonderful grandpa like you had & he was lucky to have a wonderful "daughter" like you.
Debbie