I'm feeling your pain, littlebutt.

When I told my therapist and psychiatrist that I don't like feeling blah, it's boring, my few friends want to know why I am no longer funny, they both said it's a trade-off.

"Do you want to be stable? Stable is boring," the said.

Yay.

I miss that manic edge. Just enough to be creative and feel like I have hope for the future, someday my ship will come in, life won't always be like this.