My usual state of thinking, "I just need to get a few more freelance customers and I'll be able to work back into being my own boss again full-time" has really been affected by the meds and all of the crap that I've gone through over the last few months.

Now I'm thinking, "Why bother? It will be too hard. It will be easier to work at a crappy 8-to-5 job for the rest of my life, not making ends meet, getting into even worse financial shape than I am right now."

I've lost that peppy, hopeful entrepreneurial spirit that I loved so much.

I've stopped listening to the motivational CDs and podcasts that used to keep me company throughout the day.

I've lost interest in my entrepreneurial friends and their uplifting Facebook posts.

Now all of that stuff just makes me feel overwhelmed and insignificant.

I miss my hypomania.