I am glad that you guys are taking care of yourselves. Eating & exercising right is such an important part of keeping at the weight that is good for you. I found for myself when I was't eating right, I would then end up almost passing out when I would exercise even when I wanted to keep exercising to keep my where I wanted it. Passing out around my horses definitely isn't safe besides it freeks them out.

For me, the only exercise I do is riding my horses & doing my dressage training on them. I feel horrible lately because I am spending all my time trying to pack up both homes so I can move & haven't been riding at all. Without exercise, I really have to watch what I eat.....but still need to be healthy. I found that I got a cold this summer & ended up really sick for over 4 weeks now.....& still am running a temperture.

It sounds like the daily plan you are following is going pretty good & being in school, it is important to be as healthy as possible......hard to keep up school while being sick & like you said, being in the hospital is not an option. I found that when I got to such a low weight, it wasn't my choice whether I was in the hospital or not.....passed out.....ended up in the hospital with a central line..

Sezzie, I would honestly suggest that you find a good psychologist/therapist that can help you with the question of how to stop wanting to hurt yourself........The answer to that is something that needs to come from inside of yourself......nothing we can really answer & is probably something you will need alot of help answering yourself......that is really a tough question that is completely personal.

I know that when I started restricting again & feeling the hunger pain, I can remember why I liked that feeling.....I felt that I was in control of something.....& when I feel out of control, that seems to be the only thing I can actually control. I don't know if hurting yourself is a control issue or not......I have also heard that hurting ones self in one thing helps the hurt from something else seem to lessen......that is why hurting yourself is only something you can determine why it is something you do to yourself.

Hope things continue on a good path,
Debbie