First off Let me say Hello, Im new to the forums and am desperately seeking some sort of support, something to let me know im not crazy in feeling the way I do.

So this may be long I apologize, and will try to keep it as short as I can.

Growing Up as a child, my life was far from easy. Both my mother an father were drug addicts and alcoholics. They fought constantly. Verbal and physical abuse. After my father and mother broke up.. my mother continued to use.. my father stopped except for alcohol. I also had a disabled brother, 1 1/2 years older then me. Severely disabled with something called Cornelia De Lang Syndrome. Anyways he ended up being put in a group home when my father met his girlfriend (due to her making my father and controlling him) when I was 6 years old. His girlfriend was always horrible to me. Making me a real life Cinderella. She too had her own son. Who she never made do ANYTHING. Thought i was forced to clean her bathrooms, and kitchen on the floor with a toothbrush, bucket of water, and a butter knife. She then started to physically abuse me. Pullying my hair. Slapping me in the face, and she busted my lip open by throwing a xbox game at my face. Finally my Dad left her when I was 15 years old. He was shortly after diagnosed with Lung Cancer from smoking. 2 Months after my 16th birthday he died in 2006. I woke up in the morning and found him in his bed. I moved and searched for my Mother.. who i then found out in 2009, that she died in sep 2008... 1 week after find that out.. i got a phone call that my brother had just died. 3 people in 3 years. It has been all down hill since.

I now have 2 children of my own and am married to the man I've been with since i was 12. But i just cannot find happiness. Not even through my children anymore. Im always angry, and irritated with everything and everyone. No matter how much I try to be happy Im just Not. HELP! any and all advice will be greatly appreciated!

P.S im not open to being medicated, and I've tried counseling.