Butterflies,
Amen! It is SOOOOOOOOO painful, it hurts so much knowing that someone you trust wasn't truthful and wasn't trustworthy. I am feeling the pain now, whereas I felt empty and desolate earlier. Now I feel the pain of my xT terminating me, the pain of never seeing him again, the pain of thinking he is happy that I'm gone, and the pain of realizing most of this is transference but having no connect to work with. The pain is earthshattering, invasive, and threatens to annihalate every shred of my being. All of this pain, and xT doesn't care if I'm dead or alive. It is so painful. There will never be words that can express this. I don't think I'm helping much tonight Sending positive thoughts your way . . . we all need to try to hang in there somehow Take care